Brandon Comments:
Being a fan of horror films, be they Asian, European, or American, I was intrigued by the prospect of seeing one that I had never seen before—I thought I was up-to-date until that point. But I had never heard of 'Audition,' and I would never have believed it to be an actual horror film by its title. Never judge a book—or a movie—by its title. And with this film, if you're expecting something soft and cuddly by its translated handle, you're in for one hell of a shock!
Much like my '90 VW, 'Audition' takes a while before it really gets going—approximately 30-40 minutes. The film starts out rather friendly, safe, almost humorous. We meet our main characters, understand the set-up of our protagonist staging an audition to meet women for both his dating needs and the "documentary" his buddy wants to make about it...but then something happens, and this "something" deserves a fresh, new paragraph.
During the audition, our protagonist meets a shy, quiet girl, and he casually begins to fall for her. Little does he know that she has a dark sadistic lust for torturing men—with the aid of flashbacks to her youth, we find out that she had a rather uncool upbringing at the hands of a perverted uncle.
Needless to say, our sick and twisted femme fatale has a great old time sawing, cutting, maiming, probing, injecting, and dicing her male suitors. But will our protagonist get away? Will their love be strong enough to conquer her demons? Does she really vomit into a doggie bowl and make one of her finger-less slaves eat it? Guess you'll just have to watch to find out.
Brandon gives this film thumbs up, purely for its ingenious torture methods, and that sly, seductive, and sexy smile Eihi Shiina gets on her face just as she's about to cut something off.
Coolbaugh Comments:
Was that the power of Tooda’s absence or did that pick just take over as the Worst Pick of All Time? We rallied – first it was Brandon, then Jaja, and then Nubs. And that was it. It was a small, intimate group. Dare I say, having four actually felt sparse. Hard to remember back in the day, when four was all we knew, and it actually felt full. Back in the day when you knew every selection was going to be awesome.
I’m not fooled by the fact that, as Brandon put it, “the film got interesting about 45 minutes in.” First of all, interesting is a bit of an overstatement – the second biggest overstatement of all time - a few fingers and tongues on the floor do not interest make. It wasn’t interest, per se, it was just SOMEthing. As Eddie Murphy put it, “if you starvin’, and somebody throw you a crackah, you be all like, ‘daaaaaamn…thatzah good crackah…no…wait, that wundn’t no ordinary crackah, dat wuz a saltine…wudn’t it? wuh dat a saltine?’ NO! it was an ordinary cracker…it only tasted good cuz you hadn’t had nuttin’ to eat for 6 months!” Same thing here. Yes, it’s cute when she is sawing off his legs. And yes, she’s hot and irresistible. Yes, she pressed the needles into his eyeballs with a playful joy that only an 18 year old girl trying to act 15 could have. Yes, it was fun at times, but we expect more out of Movienight. I do, anyway. We should not settle. We should not accept avant garde for the sake of it. It was not a good selection, and I’m positive that Zack failed to preview his selection prior to showing it.
What’s that you say? What’s the biggest overstatement of all time? Oh – that’s when Zack said, “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, this movie is a slow burn.” Slow burn? I was wishing it was a slow burn – at least there would have been a spark then. I’m sorry Nubs. I didn’t dig it. I tried to like it last night – I tried…I gave it all my attention – until I fell asleep.
SELECTOR Comments:
Though it may be debatable who originally came up with idea of Movienight, (me), I definitively am the brain behind our October Horror-Rama. I’m not saying I was the first to project a movie on a wall, nor a genius for showing scary movies around Halloween, I’m just happy that, as usual, the others followed my lead. However, a work conflict caused me to give my coveted first pick to Barbara Streisand. Well, unlike you with your Mom, I couldn’t just sit back and watch others have all the fun. After my peers had done such a great job of making my skin crawl for 3 weeks, I had to cap the series with the most chilling movie I could find, even if it was one day after the 31st. I always had my wuss-clause, ‘Shaun of the Dead,’ which is very funny but not so ground moving. I knew I could still win with that safety net, but on the anniversary of ‘Kung Fu Hustle’ I had to take a leap of faith.
Just the week before, I watched the infamous ‘Audition’ alone in my house and was completely freaked out. After two days of lingering jitters, I figured it would be perfect. True, it was a really slow, tension-building, creative and intellectually profound horror breakthrough film, but I knew the Crew was ready. You can imagine my disappointment when it seemed that it was just going to be Coolbaugh and me. We were also graced with JaJa, who has been very vocal about her unwillingness to sit through scary movies and Brandon, the wild card. The wild card saved my hand. When Brandon revealed his love for the horror, I just couldn’t let him down. I made a deal with the Crew that if Brandon had never seen this gem it must be seen. He had not and on we rolled.
‘Audition’ is the darkest possible metaphor for love ever put on film. The story is the perfect allegory for horror. A lonely man who holds an audition to find his wife. He meets plenty of women and goes on his instinct to choose what he hopes is the right one. The two fall in love and then she changes into the most evil, sick and twisted torturing bitch any man has had the misfortune of crossing paths with. It's everyman’s nightmare. The brilliance lies in the subtle way the actors and direction lure you into this seemingly nice tale. Not since ‘Psycho’ has any movie taken such care and time in reeling you in for the big scare. In my first viewing I was almost positive Netflix sent me the wrong movie. Except, what the hell is that sack? That kept me going into the finale. I understand it might not fly with everyone, but the virus took a lot of my audience. I think Brandon was pleased, and if I could scare just one person on this night….
Anyway for those who know ‘Audition,’ and missed it on Movienight, it’s a shame. The surround sound really brought the torture sequence to a whole new level. Each piercing needle was felt. It totally holds up in a second viewing. All the pieces fit and its just as fun knowing where its going to sour…in the doggy bowl. I hope Brandon submits a review so you believe me. I vote for more theme-motivated rotations in the future, of course the distant future.
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