Written by: Anna Campion and Jane Campion

Directed by: Jane Campion

BBD Comments:

No two ways about it, this one was a head scratcher.

I’ll state right here that I am a fan of Jane Campion’s ‘The Piano.’ I will further state that I am not a huge fan of the No Chick Flick rule. I certainly don’t want to see ‘Notting Hill’ up on the wall, but there are some films that skirt the definition I would be happy to watch with the Crew.

That ‘Holy Smoke!’ is a Chick Flick I think is beyond the point (it is a Chick Flick though). My problem is it’s just a lousy movie. Perhaps I missed the significance of the underlying themes at play, but I found the story line so absurd as to prevent any material connection with the characters.

I enjoyed moments of the film, but the totality of it - not so much. Keitel’s transformation from tough guy to cross dresser is the stuff of feminist fantasy and failed to move me at all. Is this Campion’s point with the project? That all identity is merely a version of a Cult. Is she convinced that any deeply held precept is as tenuous and suspect as those foisted upon the weak willed by charismatic Cult Leaders? If it is, she’s an idiot.

Slim, you know I have your back, but I got to call em like I see em, and ‘Holy Smoke!’ is one of the Worst Picks Ever. I can’t believe you sat through it twice in one day.

Onwards.

Netti Comments:

‘Holy Smoke!’ What can I say? Is that what Australians were like in 1998? What was with those guys? Pre-9/11 film about bourgeois spiritual and cultural vacuousness (nothing a like a few raving fundamentalists to cure us of our relativist malaise)?

There were a couple interesting visual moments here and there (mammaries of Miss Winslet will be discussed in other reviews). Largely, this film was a mess. Not as much of a mess as ‘Boondock Saints,’ but close.  The tone was all over the place with bits of slapstick insistently left in as a testament to some decision maker's lack of vision or total inability to let go of what Sidney Lumet would refer to as "band jokes" (in other words probably really funny on set). The mother's character all but disappears for a good chunk of time, though we have spent much time with her early on.  Harvey Keitel's fall was as predictable as winter, and the far too few or way too many mini-cg imagination shots were annoying, if not cutesy.  So all fingers are then pointing to the writing, which if shaky, invites many misguided attempts to fix it and it rarely works. The only facet of the film I enjoyed ( besides the cinematography) was the concept, which would make a great film in a passing conversation because that's when execution fortunately doesn't matter.

Not your best effort, Slim. However, it wasn't a safe pick either. I think that deserves recognition.

Oh yeah.  Chick flick? I think by conventional definitions hard to argue that it wasn't. But hey when there's an uptick in the feminine in a man's life there are usually a few aesthetic casualties, like cleaning the kitchen regularly while listening to Coldplay.

Nubs Comments:

Wildcard, you know we love you and value your contributions as a Member and a SELECTOR. Still, you know it’s coming, so come on out and get your whoopin’.

First let me help out both Slim and future SELECTORs with this useful guide:

10 Signs your Pick is a Chick Flick:

1. Jane Campion

2.Alanis Morrisette sing-along and accompanied dance sequence

3.Annie Lennox song

4.Your lead character is a woman

5.Your lead character is a woman who is trying to discover herself

6.Your lead woman tries to discover herself by crying or sexing her way through the whole movie

7. 7.       Your lead woman takes control of her male counterpart by applying makeup and a dress succeeding in complete humiliation and domination.
   

8. 8.       There is a sequence where the film is sped up for comedic effect while a girl tries to find what to wear for her rendezvous with a guy.
   

9. 9.       The how to perform proper oral sex on a woman scene is three times as long as the how to give a good blowjob scene. Breathe.
   

10. Endless shots of beautiful sunsets and moon rises   

Now, just because the movie was a clear violation of our silliest By-Law does not mean I wasn’t about to give it a chance. We’ve had many violators in the past that have still dunked and I for one love when our standards are challenged. I want to be clear that it is not my male pride that kept me from accepting this movie. Quite contrarily with Kate’s bare breasts so prominent throughout I was looking for any reason to run out and buy ‘Holy Smoke!’ for Joby’s Christmas gift just to have her/it in my collection. Though her perfectly shaped talent does knock-off Phoebe Cates from the top of my previous Top 10 Movienight list, the movie has very little of worth.

It simply comes down to I don’t know what this movie was about. I thought from the title, the first 5 minutes, and the fact Wildcard brought it to Movienight, meant that it would be about a spiritual and drug-filled journey. When that diminished I thought it was going to be a duel of power and wills between captor and captive except that she could pretty much come and go party whenever she felt like. So is it a love story?

The problem is we never know who Kate Winslet’s character is. We know who Harvey Keitel is as soon as he drops all his ideals and strict rules to get his dick sucked at the risk of losing all credibility with his subject most likely watching nearby. Her family is all very cartoony and has little to offer. Yet, the heroine is all over the place. I was really rooting for her seductive side and her interest in the shameful and pathetic Keitel character to be revealed as a ploy for her freedom. Instead she hits rock bottom, though I don’t know why, and gets to go back to India, though I’m not sure why she wants to. For some reason, the movie ends with Keitel’s character that we cared least about.

Both these exceptionally talented actors are unable to sell it. I felt often Keitel phoned it in, probably because nobody bothered to tell him who his character was. I feel bad for Winslet who really throws caution to the wind and puts herself out there in every scene hoping Ms. Campion will craft a good narrative out of her efforts. Well, Kate can at least take solace knowing that most were of us were just focused on her rack.

You’re up, Wiener. I mean Ben Wiener.

Wiener Comments:

What the fuck was that?  I had never heard of ‘Holy Smoke!’ and I was excited when Brandon referred to it as a cult favorite.  I figured it was going to be weed.  An updated Cheech and Chong.  Maybe a hippies in India twist on a fine film like ‘How High.’  Nope.  I kept waiting for an inkling of why the film was called ‘Holy Smoke!,’ but it never came.

I think Jane Campion directed ‘The Piano,’ which I am told was a very fine film.  But since I don’t see movies about pianos, I will have to take the word of others on that score.  All I can say is that ‘Holy Smoke!’ was as confusing a mess of a movie as I have seen in a while.  I have no clue what it was about. And since the movie didn’t actually have any characters in it, just caricatures, I’m not going to comment on the acting any further.

However, we do get to see Kate Winslet naked.  I never thought Kate Winslet was remotely hot.  Not only is she not on my list, or even one of my alternates, but I also think she was in ‘Titanic.’  I haven’t seen ‘Titanic.’  But after seeing Kate Winslet naked, if someone promises me she gets naked in it, I might reconsider.  Although I will have to turn the sound down whenever Celine Dion starts singing.  Movie Night is supposed to offer us some kind of revelation about film, whether seeing them for the first time or revisiting a much loved classic.  And on that front, ‘Holy Smoke!’ did not disappoint.  Kate Winslet’s rack should deservedly make Nubby’s top ten list this year.  And while I’m still not ready to put Ms. Winslet on my list proper, there’s an empty place in the third alternate spot that Britney Spears recently vacated.

Once again, Brandon brought us a fairly bad and pointless movie set on the dusty roads of Austraila.  At least this time however, the female lead doesn’t have a secret penis.  Hardly well done, but definitely an improvement.

SELECTOR Comments:

First off, I was well prepared to answer for a film that involved a love story as my Selection. I knew damn well what I was getting into when I chose ‘Holy Smoke!’ Yes, the main character is Kate Winslet, and we follow her character from India to Australia and then back to India again. And we watch as Harvey Keitel attempts to deprogram her from her cultish ways in an isolated shack in the ol’ Outback, only to fall prey to her seductive youth and destroy his own career and character in the process.

 

Yes, this is a twisted, dark, uncomfortable love story between two unlikely polar opposites…but it is NOT a Chick-Flick! Just because a film is directed by an Oscar-winning female director does not automatically label it a Chick-Flick. Just because a film has a woman as its protagonist does not automatically brand it a Chick-Flick. And yes, even though Harvey Keitel wears a dress and makeup at one point, and Kate Winslet gives us a full-frontal nude shot (including a stand-up pissing scene), and Kate instructs Harvey how to properly give her oral satisfaction, and the Annie Lennox song at the end…all this does not automatically put it into the Chick-Flick category. And you want to know why I know this? BECAUSE most women who watch this film are slightly repulsed by how far the characters go; most women consider this film a little too fucked-up and twisted to be enjoyed as a “feel-good classic.” This film is simply a drama, a black comedy, a study of two wills. It is not even a real love story—it illustrates the lies behind who we are as people, our characters, our personas, our beliefs, and even our hearts.

 

‘Holy Smoke!’ may not have a futuristic cop beating the shit out of replicants, or a Cro-Magnon beating the shit out of another Cro-Magnon with a bone, but it does tell a similar tale of belonging, survival, growing, living…just in a different light.

 

And the one topic that no one seems to want to associate with this film is its connection to the previous week’s Selection of ‘The Party.’ That was the whole reason why I chose ‘Holy Smoke!’ — because it is linked by theme to the prior week: ‘The Party’ had an Indian man at an all-American party…a fish out of water. And the Indian man falls in love with an American girl and has to deal with all of the cultural differences between them. Now, ‘Holy Smoke!’ follows the same principle: A white girl goes to India, falls in love with an Indian man, and the cultural differences between them are so drastic that her family hires a cult deprogrammer to strip her of her beliefs and newfound feelings. And this is solely the reason why I chose ‘Holy Smoke!’ – because of its direct connection to the previous week’s Selection.

 

This film is not in the same category as ‘Bull Durham,’ and if you do think so, then you might want to add ‘The Sea Inside’ to the Chick-Flick category; and you might want to add ‘Children of Men’ to the Chick-Flick category, because the protagonist helps his ex-wife and helps save the life of a sweet and pretty baby; and finally, you might want to add ‘Aliens’ to the Chick-Flick category, because, after all, its star is Sigourney Weaver…and she has a cat, and she helps a kid, and she cries.

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