Big Trouble in Little China (1986) 99 Minutes

Our 10th Indoor Presentation has arrived, and with it some cabin fever has

seemed to overcome our stalwart Crew.

Prior to the screening, some heated words were exchanged among the

Membership, and it seems clear that the confines of our current format is

taking its toll on all involved. Despite the dust up, the screening proceeded

without incident and Netti finally followed up his hotly debated ‘The Swimmer.’

Only Netti didn’t make it.

Tooda was forced to pinch hit for Mr. Simonetti once it was clear that Wiener

didn’t have a well considered Selection, and Netti would bail on us again.

Tooda took the opportunity in his preamble to throw Netti under the bus for his recent behavior. Not only was Netti the Member who invited Becky and her late arriving friends for our most recent attempt to get outdoors, but Netti has skipped the last three Movienights (even though he has been slated as SELECTOR for the past two weeks).

With the Netti drubbing behind him, Tooda moved on to remind us all that the camaraderie is what makes Movienight Movienight. Not the locale, not the audience size, but the people. We are here to join as friends and enjoy each other’s company while we share the group escape and experience that the pursuit of a Slam Dunk provides.

Hoping to provide just that, Tooda brought a Pick he had originally considered as our first Official Selection of Year Two. Pat Towne continued his (largely unnoticed) boycott of Indoor Presentations, and Johnnie G. sat out once again. The aforementioned Netti and Jaja were both MIA, but the rest of the Membership squeezed into Chez Tooda along with Bourbon Cookie to see this Carpenter camp classic.

‘Big Trouble in Little China’ marks the return of the director/leading man team of John Carpenter and Kurt Russell. They both debuted with Tooda’s ‘The Thing.’ Sadly, Carpenter provides his own score here, and some in the Crew missed the far superior work of Ennio Morricone on ‘The Thing.’ It may in fact be the worst score in Movienight history. James Hong makes his second Official and third overall appearance with this Pick. He was in Nubs’ ‘The In-Laws,’ and in MOFO’S Unofficial Presentation ‘The Sand Pebbles.’ Kim Cattrall debuts here.

MovienightNorth was the subject of some derision from the Crew when one Meteorological Member suggested the recent Blog posting from our Northern Brethren was about as sensitive to our current plight as posting photos “of our ex-girlfriend sucking some other guy’s dick.” MovienightNorth (who recently dropped “North” from their title for some reason) carried on our proud tradition and coverage of their latest Selection can be read here.

The good news on the horizon is it seems that Movienight will return to the outdoors in two weeks. No matter when that happens, one thing is for certain, Nubs will not get the first outdoor Pick ever again. Hopefully the curse his Picks have had on our outdoor arenas will work on our Indoor Environment when he steps up to the SELECTOR box next week.

“Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, ‘Give me your best shot. I can take it.’”

Written by: Gary Goldman & David Z. Weinstein

Directed by: John Carpenter

Brandon Comments:

Although I hate to see the Crew tearing itself apart by the sutures, a tasty film like ‘Big Trouble in Little China’ is just what we needed to bring us back together again. I know, I know…that would be a cheap trick you’d see in a cheap movie, not an act that happens in real life. But the re-teaming of John Carpenter and Kurt Russell came really damn close.

The Crew is growing more and more detached as the heat rises and the ceiling closes down on us, but we just have to keep our spirits high, and keep the bowl packed. We shall overcome our confines soon. We have to be our own Jack Burton in the Chinatown that is our Indoor MovieNight. We have to keep ourselves sharp and fight the three Chinese bad guys in order to have our Little China back again.

This is a classic film that does not fall into the traditional “classic” category. It’s a stoner’s action film with a cast and plot that tickle the imagination for days after seeing it. I actually went out and bought a boot-knife the next day, just like the one Jack Burton wears.

An excellent selection, Tooda! You got us all in an ass-kickin’ mood with this one.

Nubs Comments:

With Netti kidnapped by the powerful forces of Hollywood moments before start time, we could have had some Big Trouble in Little Davis’s apartment. Yet just like Jack Burton, Tooda looked that storm in the eye and dealt with it in the cheesiest way possible to get us out alive. Like our Selection, beyond all reason, it worked; the beast was slain and we all left with smiles on our faces.

Tooda used the guise of Netti’s pick to replace as he states, “the worst movie brought to Movienight”-‘Meatballs.’ This is another case of having too much time to reevaluate the pick before my review, but come on. Do the heroic duo ever have a plan to rescue the girl other than getting in the building and then being overwhelmed by what dark forces await them? I believe they take a quick break between attempts to get some magic, some more exposition, and then try the same plan. You never feel like they’re going to succeed and I’m still not sure how they did other than the movie had to end. When the pick was first revealed on the stucco, oops, screen, I thought, “Oh now I can watch it straight through without commercial interruptions and afternoon distractions (which have always accompanied previous T.V. viewings) and it will all make sense. That was not the case.

What makes this movie fun and watchable is the conviction and commitment of the cast to a fantastic, cheesy 80’s world. Kurt Russell wears that shirt, and says those lines without any shame. Kim Cattrall and the other co-stars all do great jobs getting us to drink John Carpenter’s punch. It’s a tongue-in-cheek trip back to glorious 1986. It also seemed fitting to choose a stereotypical ridiculous story about Chinese ancient culture in place of Netti who would maybe choose an honorable, respected taste of Japanese culture.

That maybe doesn’t make any sense and I’d like to elaborate more but my Amazon copy of the final Harry Potter just arrived and no one is going to read this two week-old review anyway. In conclusion, the fact that we survived the 80’s should be an inspiration that Movienight will survive our recent Big Trouble in Little spaces.

SELECTOR Comments:

I knew that Netti had a Pick on him, so I was hoping against hope that he was going to make it in time to hold his SELECTOR spot. Upon reflection, more care should have been taken to line up a Guest SELECTOR just in case, but hind sight is twenty twenty. It was only the fact that I had so carefully considered this film as the first Pick of our Second Year that made me comfortable presenting it to you all, and given the heated environment prior to the screening, this goofy film seemed just the tonic.

‘Big Trouble in Little China,’ like ‘Meatballs,’ is a bad movie. Unlike ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Big Trouble’ is purposefully bad, and this manufactured B-Movie masterpiece is as balls out fun to watch as it is completely devoid of substance or meaning.

The vapidity of this film makes Kurt Russell’s work in it all the more remarkable. He is made to utter such profoundly ridiculous lines (see the quote above) and yet he never does it winkingly. He is totally earnest throughout the film, and his commitment is what elevates this stupid film.

For all the stress our peripatetic existence has forced upon the Crew, it was a joy to sit with you all and laugh our asses off. This empty film has one theme that resonates for us quite well. No matter who you are, you can’t go it alone and hope to persevere. Your friends are your strength when times get tough. Thanks to everyone for making me feel very strong indeed.

Onwards.

next >

< previous