Selector: Nubs../../../../Member_Profiles/Entries/2006/3/9_Zack_%E2%80%9CNubby%E2%80%9D_Eisenberg.htmlshapeimage_4_link_0

Written and Directed by: Sylvester Stallone

Bourbon Cookie Comments:

Ah, ah, ah, ah… ‘Stayin’ Alive.’ Sooooo bad, could it be, sure, what the hell, good.  I was prepared for such a piece of shit of cinematic history that I got chills.  With Nubs using the word “Bad” I believe at least 36 times in his preamble, I knew we were in for a treat or at least a movie that I would be willing to get up during to use the bathroom.  I’m not going to go on forever about Stayin’ Alive, but with all the jazz hands, forty-five degree jumps, hair, headbands, lycra, legwarmers, front shots, side shots, back shots, and in case you’ve forgotten, the name of this production is Satan’s Alley, sigh, thank you Nubs is all I can say.  A warning that it was going to turn into Mystery Science Theatre 3000 would have been nice, but hey, I’ve missed you guys for three weeks so I have only myself to blame.  Cheers to you Nubs, you truly brought the perfect, ugh, so bad it’s good.  I’ll never be able to watch this movie again because it won’t be the same and because I don’t want to.


SELECTOR Comments:

I have to admit, I love this movie. It’s the epitome of cheesy and bad. When Netflix asked me to rate it, it was hard to give it only one star since it is earns 5 stars for being so bad it’s great. I remember seeing it in the theater when I was 9 years old and precociously knowing it sucked. Some people say they saw Chorus Line as a kid and it made them want to grow up to be a dancer, or they saw All That Jazz and it made them want to be an artist. Lucky for us, I saw Staying Alive, and it made me want to grow up and trash movies.

After rewatching it again as an adult, man does it suck. From top to skimpy bottom, reeks of velveeta.  Frank Stallone’s songs, Sly’s cameo(in lieu of direction), Mackey’s costumes, Dennon and Saybher Rawles’ choreography, Travolta’s, well, Travolta should all have a place in the Smithsonian representing everything wrong with bad movies and 80’s cinema.  It is apt that when our requirements are that a movie be good the majority have come from period of the late 1960’s to late 1970’s and in the “bad rotation” we are choosing from 1981 to 1988. Hurl.

I have already wasted more time and thought on this piece than any of the coked-up people in charge of “Staying Alive”. Let it die now.

Comments Widget